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Funny Baseball Quotes

by Aron Wallad

• "A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings." Earl Wilson
• "When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball."" Willie Stargell
• "When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back." Woody Allen

• "There have been only two geniuses in the world. Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare." Tallulah Bankhead
• "With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions." Pete Rose
• "Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all?" Vin Scully

• "Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor." Abe Lemons
• "The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing." Dizzy Dean
• "I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally." Rich Donnelly, minor league manager

• "Let no one accuse baseball of not being tough on drugs. During his baseball career, Steve Howe was given 7 lifetime suspensions." Bill Ferraro, baseball fan.
• "I could never play in New York. The first time I came into a game there, I got into the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors." Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles

• "On his own scouting report: "Very deceptive. Slower than he looks." Joe Garagiola
• "A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, 'Should I spike myself?'" Lefty Gomez
• "Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist." Hank Greenwald, on Bruce Sutter